Does anything sap energy more than a brain that won’t stop thinking? That endless stream of thoughts that trigger other thoughts which trigger other thoughts….especially last thing at night.
If there is one thing that separates those who live a meaningful and relatively happy life from others, it’s being in control of what and how we think, rather than us being controlled by an endless stream of uncontrollable thoughts. Overthinking is not only draining, it stops us focusing on what really matters. We often let the little things get in the way of the big things.
It affects more intelligent people generally because they tend to over-analyse. It also seems that women generally tend to be more prone to overthink than men.
For those with an interest in neuroscience, overthinking — also known as rumination — is a sign of an overactive amygdala, which evolved to help us be alert to danger (lacking as we do sharp claws and long canines!) It’s a self-preservation mechanism that puts us on high alert to threats. Having grabbed our attention, we need to diminish our perception of the threat. Because negative feelings are much stronger than positive ones, they’re more resistant because, unless we make an effort to stop them, negative thoughts can feed each other. And much of what goes on inside our heads is wired to operate the way it does. Anxiety almost always precedes panic and persistent worry may lead to a feeling of helplessness, which then disempowers us.
During the day it’s relatively easy to turn to a distraction to get your mind off things, such as taking a walk, listening to music, or watching funny clips on YouTube. But when overthinking happens at night — as it often does — distractions aren’t always available. That doesn’t stop you from getting up, of course, and a soothing caffeine drink often helps.
The following tips may help minimise the problem. Many of these are proven to work if they are practised regularly. It’s not feasible to try and change long-established behaviour overnight.
1. Step back and see the bigger picture. When we’re anxious we zoom into a problem by focusing intently we get tunnel vision. So we lose the wider perspective. Postponing the issue until tomorrow may help, particularly we step back: “I have a problem that needs to be sorted; I’ll sort it tomorrow after breakfast.” This has the added advantage of taking yourself out of the problem and rescheduling it. You can also take a longer-term view: will this problem really matter next week/next month/in five years? This can help to remove the urgency and helps widen perspective.
2. Some things are under your control, and some things aren’t. Don’t get anxious about what you can’t change. Recognise this, and we remove so many potential sources of stress. It’s a good way to assess things throughout the day. Ask yourself what is under your control and what’s not. And, of course, it IS under your control then you can do something about it. If it’s NOT under your control, you can’t — no matter how much you WANT to.
3. The Past has gone and the future hasn’t happened yet, so stay focused on the now. That really is all we have. If the pain of the past is in the present, it’s probably you keeping it there. Because overthinking often keeps the pain of the past in the present, it’s often useful to spend a few minutes at bedtime just reviewing things that were enjoyable in the day, and things for which you were grateful. This helps to calm the mind and focus on positive things,
4. Don’t worry about what sort of day it’s going to be. Just decide you’re going to have a great day and you’ve set the tone which will help you decide what to focus on and what to ignore.
5. If it needs doing, then just do it. Don’t think about it beforehand: remember the advice from Nike and Just Do It and then decide how you feel. If that’s hard — and inertia can hold us back –pick on something simple to do, and do that, and get in the habit of finding things you can do. Become a person of action.
6. STOP! Do you, or your parents, remember yelling, “Stop! Just Stop, I don’t care who started it…I’ve just about had enough!!”? That works for us too. Try it!
7. What’s the worst that can happen? How many times do we imagine a deluge of angst and misery that never …. actually appears? Michel Montaigne famously said. “My life has been full of misfortune, most of which never ever happened.”
8. Ensure you prepare for sleep. Put your devices away at least 30 minutes before bedtime. A 20-minute spell of light reading is better than vegging in front of the TV. Your bedroom should be used only for two things, and one of those is sleep! Try to get up at the same time each morning.
These will not of themselves stop you from overthinking overnight, but when practised they are proven techniques for minimising rumination.
