What separates those living happy lives from everyone else?
Invariably it’s simply clarity. They’re clear on what life is generally all about, and they’re also clear how they fit in. They’re not perfectionists — getting 80% is pretty good. Are you a “bit of a perfectionist”? If so, you’re setting yourself up to fail.
OK — that’s them — we all know there are people happy with their lot in life.
What would you settle for? How would you score the quality of your life, on a scale from 1 to 10? 6? 4? or even -1? Obviously this can change daily, or within a day. But overall, what’s your score. Now, how much more of an improvement would you be happy with?
25% better? More? Less?
And even though the score you give yourself is low, you’re not stupid. You’re not going to change from -1/10 to 5/10 overnight. But you do know one thing. You’re not happy with your current score!
So how can things improve? It’s not as though you haven’t tried. You know you tried so many times to get fit, lose weight, manage personal finances better, find a loving relationship — and everything just fell apart. That’s because we get into the habit of doing what we’ve always done. Doing what we’ve always done is guaranteed we get what we always got.
If you do know what didn’t work before … why not make that your starting point?
You know you want changes in your life. And if that change is to bring about a better quality of life, it has to be a change that lasts.
Everyone who wants to lose weight can lose weight. Keeping it off is the key. Anyone who wants to be more secure financially can save some money. But can they do that consistently?
So how to make that new start?
One of the best ways to start to bring about a change for the better is to start by asking a better question.
If you’re not happy with your life, why is that? If you lost something or someone, what do you take from that? If you’re overwhelmed, what can you do to get clarity? If you are fearful, how can you stop your fears paralysing you?
If you’re worried that you worry and that you worry because you can’t stop worrying, how can you stop worry getting in the way of being happier?
Once you start asking questions, you start to get answers.
But here’s the thing….
If the question is not a great question, the answer won’t be all that good. For example…“Why can’t I lose weight??” might elicit the answer from your inner critic: “Because you’re a slob who eats junk food!”
It’s not a great answer, but it’s an ANSWER. It’s a starting point.
You want to improve the quality of your life? Well, why not begin by trying to get a better quality question?
Instead of “Why am I always so fat?” why not ask “how could I lose weight AND enjoy eating more healthily??”
Ask a better question, and what happens? You get a much more inspirational answer!
And, with a better answer, that reveals a better path to follow.
Questions produce clarity. Clearly!
So ask a question. But if you don’t like the answer, aim for a better question.
Of course, it takes practice. But so does the quality of life.
What’s the better question you could ask…?